Emotional Intelligence (EI)

I came across this concept in an article in The University of British Columbia Magazine for its alumni, Fall/Winter 2022. The article is called “Mind Matters”, is written by Roberta Staley and is found on page 44 of the magazine.

Why is this concept important? To quote the author of this article, “EI facilitates better stress management and decision-making, and emotionally intelligent leadership boosts employee engagement. This means improved worker morale and well-being, which leads to greater individual and organizational effectiveness.”

In 1995, Daniel Goleman published a book called “Emotional Intelligence” and the term seems to have become popular since then. I have not read the book and will be referring primarily to the article in The UBC Magazine and to the article in Wikipedia. According to Wikipedia, there are certain limitations in the research done on EI so many do not feel that the tests that are available are reliable. I think one has to be aware of the fact that many ideas and training available have been promoted to make profit for individuals. On the other hand, I feel that the concept is certainly valid, even if it is difficult to measure. For many years we have heard about IQ (Intellegience quotient) which tries to test how smart a person is. The tests are usually designed for only a certain portion of the world population and have biases and limitations. I’m sure the tests for emotional intelligence have similar weaknesses, but I want to explore the concept a bit, especially as it pertains to leaders in the business world.

EI is a skill that can be taught and learned. People who want to function well in the workplace need to work on acquiring these skills. “Developing EI can help people in all types of professions learn to work harmoniously in teams, build relationships with customers and clients and handle stress more effectively,” writes Roberta Staley. This certainly sounds promising.

David Cory, president and founder of The Emotional Intelligence Training Company, based in North Saanich, BC says that “many men don’t learn about emotions, they ignore and deny them and, above all else, don’t show them to others… However, when given the opportunity in workshops, participants experience greater levels of trust and deeper connections through sharing their emotions.” Cory is obviously running a business that offers courses to make a profit. However, this does not mean that the ideas he is promoting are not valid.

What does Emotional Intelligence encompass? According to the article by Roberta Stavely, it encompasses:

  1. Reality testing – checking one’s perceptions and biases
  2. Social responsibility – the desire to make the workplace and world a better place
  3. Empathy – paying attention to the emotions of others and the impact you have on them
  4. Emotional self-awareness – being aware of your emotions, problem solving by leveraging the emotions involved in the application of logic
  5. Impulse control – understanding when either stability or spontaneity is appropriate.

I am neither a psychologist nor a psychiatrist, though I have always found psychology an interesting academic topic. However, I was a teacher for over 30 years and I can relate to the importance of emotional intelligence in the maturing of teenagers. The teenage years are a time of change for all youth, both in physical development, intellectual development and emotional development. Most youth are aware of the physical changes that happen, but not all of them are aware of how the intellect develops in this time period as well. Many youth are also unaware of the need to develop their emotional intelligence as well.

Let me give examples, both from people that I know and from the fiction that I read. A child is often unfairly treated by his parents, by being told that they can’t do anything right. I was always a shy child, but was I taught how to hold a conversation? No, but I do remember being told what not to say or ask. I still have problems knowing what to say to strangers.

Children can have problems such as stammering or dyslexia. These problems can really hinder learning at school, particularly as the afflicted child will often be bullied by others. I am no expert on how to treat these problems, but I do know that methods have been developed to help children handle these handicaps. They are certainly not related to intelligence at all. The first student I had that told me she had dyslexia also got very good grades. She had been helped early enough in her schooling that she was able to work with the subjects (probably spending more time than many classmates) and coming out with good grades. Those who don’t get help become adults with large handicaps.

Learning emotional intelligence seems to not be something that our regular school system is encouraged to teach. As with any school subject, some people learn things easily and others strive with them. I don’t remember receiving any instruction in handling emotions, except to bottle them up and not show them. Even today, in my 70s, I would have problems putting the correct names on some of the emotions we regularly experience: anxiety, stress, anger, frustration, happiness, contentment, etc.

Emotional intelligence is something I would like to learn more about. I hope by sharing this concept with you, you too will both look at yourself and think about how well you have developed this type of intelligence. It is never too late to learn new things.

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