Having a hearing disability

I have been using two hearing aids (one in each ear) for over 27 years and my hearing will not get any better. In fact it gets worse as time goes on. The range of sound that I have lost includes the human voice, which makes having spoken conversations with people very difficult and tiring. I have just recently gotten a new hearing aid, which helps, but hearing aids do not replace good ears, they just help make difficult situations better, perhaps.

Having a hearing disability is a handicap. I often get very frustrated with trying to follow what other people are talking about. Different people have different qualities to their voices, some are easier for me to hear than other ones. Background noises also influence how much of a conversation I can hear. For example, if more than one conversation is going on in a room where I am, I will probably not be able to hear any of them.

Let me give an example from a television program that I have just been watching. There were several people explaining a subject. The main host had a very soft voice that was very difficult to hear. I turn up the sound to hear him. The first guest was a woman with a very sharp voice that was easy for me to hear. I turn the sound down to normal. But what was very irritating for me was the applause as that sound level hurt my ears and made me turn down the sound level even more. In the end I spend my time reading the subtitles as it became too complex to adjust my hearing aids to the differences in sound level, in the same program.

A hearing aid is a wonderful, technical aid for those with hearing disabilities. However, my experience (based on almost three decades and several hearing aids) is that they amplify all the noises around me, even the ones I don’t want to hear – car traffic, cutlery rattling in the drawer, power saws, rustling clothing, etc. I often enjoy walking on my own, just because I then don’t have to wear a hearing aid and not get all of those other noises amplified.

Another problem that I have is that my level of tolerance of loud noises is much lower, even without wearing hearing aids. Sound intensity levels are measured in decibels. For example, 20 decibels is 10 times as loud as 10 decibels. Most people will find that 60 decibels is an okay level of noise to tolerate, and at 80 decibels the sound level is unpleasant. Hearing protection should be used if you are exposed to high levels of decibels over longer periods of time, for example, for several hours in a working situation. I will generally find that sound at 80 decibels is painful for my ears and that 70 decibels is the maximum I want to experience.

Now that I am no longer working outside the house, I do not wear my hearing aids constantly. I put them on when I am with others so that I can hear what they say, but I avoid wearing them when I am alone or doing noisy activities. But this can cause problems too. I don’t hear the tap running in the kitchen and forget to turn it off. I don’t hear someone approaching me and I jump when I become aware of them. I don’t mind not hearing the seagulls in the summer, nor the traffic on the bridge near us.

Situations I find difficult

There are quite a few situations that happen on a regular basis where people try to give me messages or information, but I am just not able to understand what is being said to me. It is important that I am aware that someone is speaking to me. I may not be listening all of the time

I have tried to teach the people that live with me to make sure I am wearing my hearing aids when they want to say things to me. However, if I am working in the kitchen, chopping vegetables (a very noisy job), I may have my hearing aids on “mute” and don’t either hear someone approaching me or hear what they say to me. Washing dishes is a similarly noisy job that is louder than normal conversation.

Using the vacuum cleaner is a noisy chore, though necessary. When the children were small, they would disappear very quickly when I turned on the vacuum cleaner. This is the sort of sound that I do not need to have amplified with a hearing aid. Thankfully, we now have a central vacuum cleaner and the machine itself is tucked away in a cupboard on the lower floor of the house. However there is still the noise of the suction which can be at my limits of toleration.

Walking outdoors near traffic can cause problems hearing a conversation. For me, all types of mechanical noise will always be louder than human conversation.

Large groups of people create a lot of noise. For a while I was enjoying attending a knitting cafe for two hours every two weeks. Fifteen to twenty ladies would get together, pack themselves into a small room and begin talking to each other. My guess would be that at least half of them were talking at the same time. After an hour, my ability to concentrate was used up, and I sometimes had to flee the room to regain my sanity. Sometimes I even went outside with the smokers as it was so quiet with them. So now I avoid this type of social activity as it is just too tiring for me.

Things to do when talking to someone with a hearing disability

• Look at the person you want to talk to and make sure they have understood that you are going to say something. You can start by saying their name, so that they know that you are wanting to talk to them. If you don’t get a reaction, maybe they need to turn on the hearing aid.
• Stand close enough that what you are saying will be heard. How close you need to stand depends on the person and the level of background noise.
• Make sure you speak distinctly and don’t mumble or swallow your words. Many people start a sentence distinctly, but the ending disappears.
• If you are giving important information, check that the message has been understood, perhaps by asking a question.
• When you are pointing to something, make sure you are still facing the person you are talking to and not facing what you are pointing to.

Things NOT to do when talking to someone with a hearing disability

• Don’t start talking to someone until you know that you have their attention.
• Don’t turn away from someone that you are talking to.
• Don’t walk away from someone as you are talking to them.
• Don’t try to compete with a lot of background noise, such as water running, traffic noise, or background music.
• Don’t assume that because you see a hearing aid in the ear, that it is actually turned on.

Like everything else in life, we learn to adapt to situations. The person with a hearing disability has to learn to live with the handicap and figure out what is important to hear and what can be ignored. People talking to a person with a hearing disability have to learn how to talk to them so that they are heard and understood.

Loosing one’s hearing is common as one gets older. Some of us started the process when we were younger. The degree of loss will influence a person’s ability to adapt to social situations. I now find social situations difficult when there are more than about four people. Please be considerate when you are in a social situation with a person who has a hearing disability.