As I was writing out the text for this virtue, I was thinking about how I would practice this virtue and I decided to work on how my actions affect others. With the COVID-19 pandemic a reality, I am experiencing things slightly differently than normal.
First of all, we are three living in the house, with two generations, that don’t always have the same opinions about various topics. With little contact with others, except by telephone, we are having to adapt to each other in ways that are not necessarily easy. A little empathy for others will help keep ourselves at peace with each other, at least, most of the time.
Second of all, I have to respect the rules of the pandemic, which is to hold my distance from others (1 to 2 meters) and to not visit people who might be at risk. I have already cut down the amount of time I spend shopping as that is where I could meet people who are not respecting the social-distancing rules or are carrying the virus without being sick themselves.
I can’t change the way other people lead their lives, but I can change the way I react to others. I can think before I act or say something. I can plan my activities so that I respect other people’s needs as well as my own. By using empathy I can try to see how others see a situation and allow for different viewpoints.
“Empathy is the ability to put ourselves in another’s place and to understand their experience. We are deeply present to their thoughts and feelings with such compassionate accuracy that they can hear their own thoughts more clearly. Empathy connects us with our common humanity. It protects us from prejudice, blame and judgment – those things that divide us from each other. With empathy, we reflect on how our actions affect others. It moves us to seek justice for every person, even those with whom we disagree. Empathy inspires us to ge giving and selfless. Empathy connects our hearts.”
Glendalough is a valley with two lakes in County Wicklow, about 50 km south of Dublin, in the Wicklow Mountains. The name, Glendalough, means the “valley of two lakes”.
We took a bus trip to visit this famous location with its tall round stone tower, stone church and many ruins. We learned the story of the location and its ruins. I’m using Wikipedia as my source of information at this writing.
The main tourist attraction is the early medieval monastic settlement founded by St. Kevin in the 6th century. Most of the old buildings are in ruins, but the round tower is still standing and St. Kevin’s Church is still intact.
The round tower is about 30 meters high and was built as a landmark and probably also as a storage area. The entrance to it is 3.5 meters from the base and there are several floors inside. If the settlement was attacked, it could also be used as a place of refuge.
There are the remains of several churches plus a cathedral. Over the centuries it seems to have been quite a large settlement here, as there would have been farms, workshops and dwellings connected to the monastery.
Today it seems to be a popular place to get out of the city though there still seems to be tourist buses. The current bus tour starts at 9 am in the center of Dublin and gets back at 17:30. (Except that during the corona-virus pandemic tours are temporarily cancelled.)
Awesome has become a popular word in the last few years and yet what do we really mean when we use it? I don’t use it that much, but I think of the landscape around where I live when I think of “awe”. Even the picture on the virtue card shows mountains with peaks and snow.
Awe makes us realize how small we are, as individuals, when compared to the size of the planet earth and when compared to our creator, God. In these days of being worried about getting sick from the virus COVID-19, it is interesting to reflect on how a small thing like a virus can empty the streets of large cities like New York and San Francisco.
When I contemplate working with “awe” this week, I have to keep in mind both the large and the miniature in this world. I am somewhere in the middle. My actions can affect how other people’s lives are. If I am careless, others can be hurt. If I am kind, perhaps I can help others have a better life.
As the gardening season is slowly starting, I find myself in awe of how nature is so complex and yet so beautiful. I’m hoping that with warmer temperatures, the snow will disappear this week and I will be able to help nature fulfill its destiny.
“Awe is deep respect and reverence for the Source of life. It is humility and wonder before the power of God. Contemplating life’s beauty and mystery leads us to communion. Reflecting on our place in the universe, we seem small and insignificant, yet it is awe-inspiring to realize that no one else on earth is just like us. Each of us has a unique potential for reflecting the Divine virtues in our souls. We awaken them by choosing to live them. When we practice awe, we are alert to the signs and wonders placed in our path. We open ourselves to Grace.”
One of the reasons for visiting Ireland was that my Dad had grown up in Dublin and still had a lot of relatives in the area. There were also relatives in England, some of whom we visited. In the following information, birth dates should be reliable, but some people who were living at the time the information was collected may have since died and therefore there is a question mark. They may also still be living. I have very little contact with the Commins family.
My dad was the only one of his siblings that moved farther away than England. When my mom married him in 1939, she moved to England to marry him. They got married on the 5th of May in 1939, moved to Glasgow and the Second World War started in September 1939. Dad’s sister, Violet, lived just outside of Glasgow so they saw each other regularly. Audrey was 6 years old when my mom and dad got married and was their flower-girl. Shortly after the war ended and travel was again allowed, my parents moved back to my mother’s home area, settling in the Kerrisdale area of Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.
During the 1950s, both my dad’s sister, Violet and her husband, Ken, and dad’s brother, Robert and his wife, Gertie, came to visit us. So when my sister and I visited Dublin we had met Uncle Ken about 11 years before.
George Allen Commins (1866-1953) married Emily Florence Egginton (1869 -1930) in 1892. They had ten children:
John Egginton Commins (1893-1982), usually called Jack, married to Gertrude H. Carrol (1892-1873), no children, living in Dublin in 1966
George Albert Commins (1895-1977), married to Gertrude Maisie Dillon (1885-1966), one daughter, Mabel (1926-?), living in Dublin in 1966. Gertrude had died in January 1966, just a few months before we came to Dublin.
Robert Henry Commins (1896-1981), married to Gertrude Ganil (?-1966), one daughter, Joyce (1934-1975), living in London in 1966
Florence Gertrude O’Shaughnessey (1897-1981), married to Samuel O’Shaughnessey (?-1951), no children, living in Richmond in 1966
Violet Maud Inglis (1899-1959), married to Ken Inglis (1889-1969), one daughter, Audrey (1933? – ?). Ken was living in Audrey’s house, in Sutton, Dublin in 1966.
Edward Alexander Commins (1901-1964), often called Neddie
Adeline Victoria Commins (1902-1920)
Vera Constance Sweeney (1905-1991), married to Owen Sweeney (1890-1962), one son, Victor (1942- ?), living at 70 Sundrive Road, in Kimmage, Dublin in 1966
Walter Reginald Commins (1909-1989), married to Ivy Nellie Clegg (1907-1997), one son, Michael (1944- ), living in Rochdale, England in 1966
Albert Edward Commins (1911-1989), married to Margaret Joyce Heaps (1907-1986), often called Pat or Paddy (my father), two daughters, Aileen Margaret and Patricia Joyce. Living in Vancouver, B.C. in 1966.
Of the younger generation we met:
Mabel Gargan, married to Bernard Talbot Gargan (1919-1984) and had four children, Edward Trevor (1947-2009), Malcolm Glifford (1950-?), Averil Janice (1953-?) and Quentin Talbot (1956-?)
Audrey Dickson, married to Roy Dickson (1935-?) and had four children, David Kenneth (1957-?), Alan Richard (1959-?), Gary Robert (1962-?) and Ian Andrew (1963-?). I’ve always had a special relationship with Audrey as we have the same birthday, the 13th of December, though she is 16 years older than me. She was very good at sending a birthday present every year.
Victor Sweeney was unmarried in 1966, but married Deirdre Flanigan in 1967 and had two sons, Leo (born in 1970) and Ian (born in 1977)
Micheal Commins (the only male to carry on the Commins name), married Brenda Hays in 1964, but had no children in 1966. Later they had two sons, Christopher (born 1969) and Julian (born 1974)
My mom used to write a lot of letters, usually once a year in November or December to keep in touch with relatives overseas, particularly my dad’s brothers and sisters. I read a lot of novels set in the past and one of a woman’s daily tasks was to write letters. How times have changed! In our family it is my husband that writes the letters, when necessary, though most of them get sent as emails now.
Yet, as I am going down memory lane and trying to recall trips that I have taken in the past, it is the written letters and postcards that were sent and collected afterwards which have become a permanent record of what happened at that time. Our memories are haphazard and not really to be relied on. Most things have been forgotten 50 years later. Only a few isolated incidents or images remain. So finding letters that were written at the time, gives some insights into what actually happened, or at least what was recorded.
What happens to diaries that have been written on a computer? Are they stored somewhere where they can be retrieved? We have old diskettes and discs in a box in the attic that are impossible to read today. What are we doing to save the information that we record now? Will this blog be accessible in 20 years? I doubt it.
Typewritten information is a lot easier to read than handwritten information, especially if the handwriting is either small and cramped (and old eyes are trying to read it in poor light) or is a style of writing than we haven’t mastered reading. In the novels that I read, in the 19th century people would write in both directions on a piece of paper to save the cost of sending an extra sheet of paper in the mail. That, of course, made deciphering what was written even more difficult.
Today’s older people have the challenge of becoming more digital, but on the other hand, I think it is important to retain a lot of information in a digital format as well as, but not instead of, information on paper. Digital information becomes much easier to share with others, for example, a younger generation and those living far away.
What I would like to have time to do is to record old letters that are worth keeping (though not necessarily all letters may be worth the effort) in digital format, but it must also be printed out on paper so that later generations will have access to it.
Some years ago my sister typed out all the letters my mom, who was living in Glasgow, Scotland, wrote to her own mom during the Second World War. This allowed my sister to share the contents of these letters with me. I still have them on my computer, but perhaps I should also print them out so that they don’t get lost.
In 1966 I took a eleven-week trip with my sister and we visited Ireland, Scotland and England. In 1979-1980 I took a nine-month trip with my husband to several countries in Europe plus Israel. These letters too should be made more accessible. I would enjoy having opinions from my readers as what they would like to read more of and what their recommendations are for long-term storage of old documents. Please use the comment area at the end of this blog.
This series of blogs started off as a record of my memories, both how little I remember from over 50 years ago and how inaccurate I remember things. Now, however, postcards and letters written home during the trip have been found so that the memories will be added to with information written at the time. In addition, I look things up online to see what historical information is available and perhaps some comments as to what has happened to a place since then.
Cobh is on the south side of Great Island in Cork Harbour. The name is a Gaelicisation of the English word “cove”. At one time it was called Queenstown by the English and it was a major transatlantic port for emigrants from Ireland. The harbor is quite sheltered as ships travel several kilometers into a very sheltered bay.
We arrived at 19:00, so the day was almost finished. Though today, Cobh is a cruise ship terminal, when we arrived the Arkadia anchored in the bay and a tender took us to land. This may have been because we were so few passengers that were getting off there, but I also wonder if there wasn’t a terminal or quay suitable for ocean liners.
From a letter written at the time: ” We got into Cobh at 3 pm today but weren’t able to get off the boat till 7 pm because the Rotterdam was also in & was using the tender. Boy what a wait. – we weren’t able to get any dinner either which didn’t please us too much. We got through customs etc. all right and then had a 5 min. walk to a Guest House where we are staying. It is very nice. a big room with twin beds. Mrs. Allen gave us some supper too which was very good.”
We spent one night in a guest house here. I remember Mrs. Allen as a very friendly lady and she arranged a place for us to stay in Cork for the following two nights. I imagine she had a friend who also ran a guesthouse, or bed-and-breakfast as they were often called.
I don’t remember if it was Cobh or Cork, but I remember hearing the church bells all night, something that was quite unusual for me.
I don’t remember much about Cork itself, but we took two tourist trips from here. One trip was to Blarney Castle and the other was to Killarney.
Blarney Castle
Blarney Castle is a medieval castle from 1446 and is the location of the Blarney Stone. Its reputation is that gives the “gift of the gab”, in other words, the ability to speak well, however I did not like its location and refused to try to “kiss” it. You climb a high tower, then lean over backwards over an empty space to touch the famous stone. No thanks, not for me. We did climb up though and get a view of the area.
According to the letter sent at the time, we took a bus out to Blarney Castle and then back again.
Killarney and County Kerry
The next day we took a tour bus trip to Killarney which is in County Kerry. The bus driver would have been the guide and he would have told stories about the different places we drove through. There is beautiful scenery in this part of Ireland and quite rugged mountains. There are very few forests in Ireland as most of the flat land is cultivated. Grazing animals, such as sheep, would keep vegetation low as well.
I have two memories of bus trips, probably in Ireland. The first is how difficult it was to see over the hedgerows. This was particularly true in agricultural areas. Another memory is how the bus driver would toot his horn before going round a tight bend in the road, in order to warn anyone coming in the opposite direction. Tourist buses could be on narrow country roads which might not have let two vehicles pass easily, especially in the curves. But I also remember family members driving us around in Ireland doing the same thing.
From a letter, the route the bus took was Cork, Macroom, Ballingeary, Glengariff, Kenmare, Moll’s Gap, Killarney and back via Loo Bridge and Macroom to Cork. According to Google maps this is about 250 km on today’s roads and 4 hours of driving. The letter indicated that we had a two-hour stop in the town of Killarney, I would presume so one could get a meal or take a ride on the horse and cart.
“June 29 Dear Granny, The train trip wasn’t too bad though I was miserable with a cold one day. Trish travelled fairly well. Met some nice people on the train who we played cards and password with. Montreal is very hot – hardly slept all night. We are going up here today. Love Aileen + Pat”
Montreal was a large city and though I had grown up in a city there were two major differences. Of course, Montreal is a French-speaking city, so signs would have been in French. As I had taken French in school, this wouldn’t have caused any problems, but hearing French spoken would have been unusual.
What sticks in my mind most was the traffic culture. In Vancouver, pedestrians always obeyed traffic lights and never crossed the road without the “WALK” signal or a green light, even if there were no cars coming. In Montreal, however, it seemed like chaos to me – people crossing against the light, dashing between moving cars. Cars were honking their horns a lot more. This was my first real experience of a different culture.
The picture in the postcard is taken from the hill above the center of Montreal. We climbed up the hill and walked around Mount Royal Park. I have always enjoyed the great outdoors, more than city streets, so I remember walking through the trees.
My memory is warm, sunny, summer weather, though on the postcard Aileen mentioned that it was very hot.
Up until this trip, I had only traveled to places by car, ferry or bus. So this trip introduced me to other types of long distance travel and it included a three-day train trip, a six-day ocean liner voyage across the Atlantic Ocean and an international jet plane flight.
Cross Canada train trip – June 25 – 28
The first leg of the trip was a three-day train trip from Vancouver to Montreal. We were assigned two sleeping berths which would make up into sitting places during the daytime. At night, an upper bunk/berth would be folded down and the seats were made into one bed. A curtain would be pulled across to give some semblance of privacy. There would have been a bathroom at the end of the train car.
During the first part of the trip, there would have been a car with the observation deck so that one could see the fabulous scenery in British Columbia. I remember sitting there and experiencing the Fraser Valley and the Fraser Canyon from the observation deck. Unfortunately, even in June, it gets dark at night and then there was bedtime too. Something new to experience, sleeping on a moving train.
The next morning we were in Jasper and from there the train travelled across the prairies. Having read about the prairies as flat, it was interesting to see how it wasn’t as flat as I expected. The terrain was often rolling and there were rivers that had cut down into the land and created an uneven landscape. However it did become a bit monotonous and then we often played cards or talked to the people that were travelling with us.
I don’t have the train schedule, but at some point we passed through Winnipeg and travelled on through the Canadian Shield where there were lots of trees and lakes. I think that somewhere near Sudbury, in Ontario, the train was divided in two – one part going on to Toronto and the part we were on going on to Montreal.
From the back of a postcard sent from Montreal: “June 29 Dear Granny Hi. The train trip wasn’t too bad though I was miserable with a cold one day. Trish travelled fairly well. Met some nice people on the train who we played cards and password with.”
Crossing the Atlantic Ocean – July 1 – 7
The second leg of the trip was a six-day voyage by ocean liner from Montreal to Cobh, Ireland. This was still a time when passenger ships crossed the Atlantic Ocean, though it was probably nearing the end of such regular routes. The ship we were on, the Arkadia, was not very new and not so very large, but it was a completely new experience for me.
We left Montreal in the afternoon and we reached Quebec City after dark. We then headed north of the island of Newfoundland and into the Atlantic Ocean.
This was an interesting experience and a very new experience for me. Every meal was eaten in a dining room where we sat with the same people for every meal and had the same waiter for every meal. I was never a very social person so I don’t remember much of the evening activities that I’m sure were available on board.
I do remember that all of the days were grey and cool. It was nothing like what I had expected, which was sunny days. The sea, however, was calm, which was quite good for someone who often gets motion sickness. I don’t remember having any problems at all with that. Though one could walk around the decks to get exercise outdoors, in the middle of the Atlantic there is absolutely nothing to see, especially when the sky and the sea are the same grey color. I was very disappointed and probably got very bored as we were on the boat for six days.
On the back of the postcard is written: “July 7 Dear Granny, This is the boat we are on. The trip was quite good. We met some interesting people. Ireland is in view now. We will be landing in a couple of hours. Haven’t seen the sun since we left Montreal. Love Aileen + Trish”
We got off the Arkadia at its first stop in Europe. Cobh is on the south coast of Ireland, in a sheltered bay in County Cork. The boat anchored off Cobh and a tender took us to land. I was now in Europe.
After looking up the SS Arkadia on the internet, I came across this link (http://www.c-and-e-museum.org/marville/other/maother-40.html, downloaded 2020.03.31) which gives some information about the ship.
Built in Walker-upon-Tyne as the Monarch of Bermuda and launched in March 1931
It served as a troop ship during the Second World War
It was rebuilt and renamed in 1947 as the New Australia
It was bought by the Greek Line in 1958 and renamed the Arkadia
Its route was Bremerhavn, Southampton, Cherbourg, Cobh, Quebec, Montreal. We took the reverse route.
Its last voyage was in August 1966 and it was laid up in November 1966. It was sent to Spain for scrapping.
Tourist day trips by bus
We often took day trips to various tourist places. This was very common and easy to book once you were in a city or town. This allowed people to see places outside of the cities and yet get back to your B & B or hotel in the evening. The trips we took included:
From Cork to Killarney
From Dublin to Glendalough
From Dublin to Boyne Valley
From Belfast to the Giant’s Causeway
From Belfast to the Mourne Mountains
Jet plane home – September 9
Getting home we took a jet plane from London to Vancouver. This was my first plane trip ever and I find it interesting that in my notes from the trip I use the word “jet” when describing the plane. Air travel was still relatively new. We took an Air Canada DC-8 as in the picture below.
I was sixteen and my sister had just turned twenty-four. She had saved up her money (she was working as a nurse) and wanted a traveling companion and the two of us took off for eleven weeks. The goal was to visit our relatives in Ireland and England as well as visit my sister’s birthplace in Glasgow, Scotland.
This blog will be an overview of the trip, but more memories from the trip will also come out in other blogs later so that this one doesn’t become enormous. As memories are notoriously bad at remembering correct details, you, the reader, will just have to accept that this is what I remember over 50 years later. I’m sure my sister will have remembered quite different things.
This trip was my first extended trip outside of my home province of British Columbia. I’m not good at remembering people from back then, though reading sent postcards has been interesting. Traveling is a good way of learning about oneself and also learning about how other people do things differently, though not necessarily in a better or worse way. I think teenagers and young adults should spend time traveling to places where they get to see how other people live as this is a good learning experience.
I have found a “log” over what we did each day, but it doesn’t include any details. I also have an album with the postcards that I collected to show where I had been. I didn’t have a camera, though my sister had one with her. Photos were expensive to develop and print in the 1960s. I didn’t have much money of my own so decided to just buy postcards as souvenirs and a picture memory of where we had been. Many of the postcards were sent to people and then retrieved from them when we got home. Some of them even say on the back “Please keep this card for Trish.”
We started on the 25th of June at 16:25 by taking the CN train from Vancouver to Montreal arriving there at 18:00 on the 28th of June a little over 73 hours (three days) after leaving Vancouver. We were in a sleeper with bunk beds made up at night, had seats during the daytime, and had all our meals on board the train. We passed through Jasper and Winnipeg.
We stayed in Montreal for three nights. On the 1st of July at 11:00 we took off by boat from Montreal, on the Arkadia, heading to Ireland. spending 6 nights on the boat. On the 7th of July we landed at 19:00 at Cobh, the port for Cork, going to land by tender.
We stayed here for one night in a guest house, then moved to Cork where we stayed two nights, visiting first Blarney Castle, then Killarney.
On the 10th of July we traveled by train to Dublin where we met my Uncle Ken who at the time lived with his daughter, Audrey, and they put us up during our stay in Dublin. We also met other uncles, aunts and cousins while we were there. These were my dad’s sisters, brothers and their children.
On the 23rd of July we took the train to Belfast where we stayed for five nights. We took two bus tours where we saw the Giant’s Causeway and the Mourne Mountains. This was a period of relative quiet in Northern Ireland and I don’t remember any unrest at all.
On the 28th of July we took an overnight boat across to Glasgow arriving early the next morning. Here we stayed with some friends of my parents. This was the city where my sister was born and it was only twenty years since my parents and my sister had moved to Vancouver, Canada. Here we were taken on several day trips in Scotland, including Loch Lomond, the Trossachs, Stranrær, Edinburgh, Tarbert and Prestwick.
On the 6th of August we took the train to Rochdale, which is just outside of Manchester and stayed with my dad’s brother, Walter Commins. He also took us on several day trips while we were there, including York, Scarborough, Blackpool, Southport, the Lake District and North Wales.
On the 21st of August we went by bus to Stratford-upon-Avon and stayed two nights there, before heading to London. We arrived in London on August 23rd and stayed in and around London until we left on September 9th. We flew home from Heathrow airport direct to Vancouver.
This trip was also about being in close contact with my sister for weeks on end. Fortunately we were both quite good at looking after each other and I only remember once getting very fed up with her. I also remember sitting playing cards with her in the evenings, especially when we were staying in guesthouses and not with relatives. I felt like I was treated as the young adult that I felt that I was, even though my sister was considerably older than me. We still have a good relationship and keep in touch on a regular basis.
In these days of corona-virus, home quarantine and restricted contact with people outside our own homes, tolerance becomes an important virtue to practice. Those we live with will not always have the same opinions as ourselves, so we have to be able to tolerate that others are difference from us. I also notice that the text for this virtue includes so many other virtues – diversity, unity, patience, forgiveness, discernment, justice, acceptance, grace and joyfulness. Good luck with the interaction of these virtues in your life.
“Tolerance helps us to accept differences and frees us from being judgmental. It is recognizing that all people have feelings, needs, hopes and dreams. Tolerance is an appreciation for diversity, whether of culture or temperament. It leads to unity. It is being patient and forgiving when others make mistakes, while calling on discernment to know when to stand up for justice. Tolerance is accepting things that we wish were different with humor and grace. It allows us to embrace the pain as well as the joys of life.”