Category: Virtues

In these days of corona-virus, home quarantine and restricted contact with people outside our own homes, tolerance becomes an important virtue to practice. Those we live with will not always have the same opinions as ourselves, so we have to be able to tolerate that others are difference from us. I also notice that the text for this virtue includes so many other virtues – diversity, unity, patience, forgiveness, discernment, justice, acceptance, grace and joyfulness. Good luck with the interaction of these virtues in your life.

“Tolerance helps us to accept differences and frees us from being judgmental. It is recognizing that all people have feelings, needs, hopes and dreams. Tolerance is an appreciation for diversity, whether of culture or temperament. It leads to unity. It is being patient and forgiving when others make mistakes, while calling on discernment to know when to stand up for justice. Tolerance is accepting things that we wish were different with humor and grace. It allows us to embrace the pain as well as the joys of life.”

When I practice Tolerance, I:

• appreciate differences
• free myself from prejudice
• refrain from judging myself or others
• forgive mistakes
• accept what I cannot change
• balance acceptance with justice.

Being generous sounds easy and many times it is. We give away things we are finished with or don’t need. We give our time to a cause that we believe in. We help people who are our friends. But I note in the first sentence of this virtue card, the phrase “of value to us”. I think generosity has to go deeper, to giving things we aren’t finished with, things that could be hard for us to do without. We have to be able to give our time to people who aren’t necessarily our friends.

In these days of quarantine and isolation in order to prevent the spread of the COVID-19 virus, we perhaps have to be generous in different ways. We can be generous with our time by keeping in contact with others using the internet or our telephones. Those who are healthy and not at risk can go shopping for those who have to stay at home. We can be creative in the ways we can help others who are having a more difficult time than we are.

“Generosity is giving to others something that is of value to us. Generosity is a quality of spirit that calls us to share what we have. We also allow other to give to us. Every gift is double blessed, bringing joy to the giver and the receiver. Generosity helps us to give time and attention to the feelings, needs and views of those around us. It springs from a sense of abundance and gratitude for the limitless richness of life. We give cheerfully without expecting anything in return. We are receptive to blessings. Generosity encourages us to share the bounty.”

When I practice Generosity, I:

• willingly share with others
• give fully and freely
• listen to others with openness and receptivity
• take time each day to be grateful
• am a cheerful giver
• willingly receive all the bounties life offers.

Faithfulness is not inherently difficult for me. However there can be situations which test our ability to stay strong and not give in, either to doing things the easy way or to giving in to bad temper.

I hope that I am strong enough to get through this week’s tests.

“Faithfulness is being loyal to our beliefs, remaining firm and steadfast regardless of what happens. When our faith is tested, we stay strong, and learn from the experience. We do our work with meticulous care and excellence, faithful to its true intent. With the people we love, we are abiding and trustworthy. They know we will not abandon them or violate the sacred trust between us. Faithfulness through the changes and tests of time is a sign of lasting love. Faithful friendship is one of life’s greatest treasures.”

When I practice Faithfulness, I:

• am committed to my beliefs
• seek the lessons in difficulties
• give my work the care it deserves
• stand by my friends and loved ones
• have abiding relationships
• cherish my friendships.

Making a commitment to do something is like making a promise – once I have said I will do it, then I do it. It is important to think things through before making the commitment or promise. Making a commitment should not be done lightly or without thinking of the problems that could arise.

Because commitment includes caring, it can mean that how it is carried out might change along the way. For example, one promises to go on a trip with others and once the commitment (i.e. the tickets are bought) then one carries through, even if things do not go equally easy everyday. Being flexible along the way, using many of the virtues is all a part of commitment.

“Commitment is caring deeply about a person, a goal or a belief. Once we discern a direction, we go for it wholeheartedly. We don’t hold back, second-guess our decision or hesitate to act on it fully. We set goals and achieve them. We make promises and keep them. We go the extra mile. We are faithful to our relationships and don’t allow problems to make us waver. Keeping our commitments strengthens our inner integrity. It deepens our capacity to carry responsibility with grace.”

When I practice Commitment, I:

• am discerning about my decisions
• give 100% to whatever I do
• am confident in my choices
• keep my agreements
• am loyal to those I care about
• have the strength to go the distance.

Truthfulness is basic for our trust of others and for others to trust us. When we are not sure whether people are telling us the truth, we will have difficulties trusting them in anything. We find out about what is happening in the world through the media, often digital media today. There are many stories of “fake” news, where people are deliberately lying and creating untrue stories. This is not practicing truthfulness.

I remember when my son was six years old, I had first-grade distance learning for him, from the school system in British Columbia. One of the on-going lessons I remember was teaching the difference between fact and fiction. This is a distinction that has to be learned and I’m not sure how well many people have understood this difference.

Many of the stories that we read for relaxation are defined as fiction, in other words it is just a story made up by the author. The people do not really exist, though the stories are often trying to illustrate very human problems and types of people. However, facts are supposed to be truths, something that will be the same today as yesterday. Facts are often expressed using numbers, such as there are 24 hours in the day.

One of the things that I think we have to be more aware of is the difference between “truth” and “opinion”. For example, if I say it is a warm day, that is my opinion and others may or may not agree with me. Someone else may be wearing a toque or gloves, while I am happy in a t-shirt. On the other hand, if I say that the temperature is 13 degrees centigrade, then I am trying to give a measurable fact, and others can interpret whether they think it is warm or cool.

“Truth is the bedrock of integrity on which we build all our other virtues. It is an ongoing commitment to live by what is real, authentic and true for us. We make realistic decisions. We do not lie, cheat or deceive. We tell the truth kindly. Our words and actions are trustworthy. Our promise is our bond. We do not allow others to have undue influence on our perceptions. We investigate the truth with our own eyes. Truth tells us that we are not here to live another’s dream or to be all things to all people. We live by our own true nature.”

When I practice Truthfulness, I:

• speak only the truth
• have no need to impress or deceive others
• use discernment to make good decisions
• tell the truth with kindness and tact
• investigate the truth for myself
• know I am enough.

I think for me the important part of the virtue of modesty is being comfortable with who I am. I appreciate all the things that I have accomplished in my life. I want to continue doing my crafts which I find very relaxing. I would like to acknowledge my virtuous husband who has contributed to the success I have made with my life. I am grateful for the people around me who support me in what I do. Thank you.

“Modesty is a sense of quiet confidence and self-respect, which allows us to enjoy our accomplishments without inflating our self-importance. We have no need to brag or attract attention. We know we are worthy just as we are. We have a sense of respectful privacy about our bodies. We have reasonable expectations of ourselves. We resist the drive to overdo. Modesty allows us to accept praise with gratitude. We have no need to raise ourselves above others. We share the glory. We are grateful for the gifts we have, and we honor the gifts that others have too.”

When I practice Modesty, I:

• am comfortable being who I am
• have no need to exaggerate my importance
• treat my body with respect
• refuse to overdo
• share credit for success
• am simply grateful for my accomplishments.

I appreciate the good life I have had with the same husband for over forty-two years. I appreciate my two children who are turning out to be good adults. I appreciate having a sister that I can communicate with on a regular basis. I appreciate the friends that I have and the joy that they give me. I appreciate the experiences I have had over my 70 years. It is important to be aware of what is good in one’s life, to be thankful for one’s blessings and to tell others how you appreciate them being a part of your life.

“Appreciation is seeing the good in life. It is recognizing the gifts that come our way and showing gratitude for them. When we express appreciation to others, we mirror the virtues we see in them. We perceive their positive intentions and honor them with our gratitude. Love thrives on appreciation. Intimacy grows deeper when we know we are seen and valued. As we do the spiritual work life calls us to do, it is important to appreciate our own efforts and to acknowledge our progress. We don’t dwell on the unpleasant things of life. We value the learning even in the painful times. Drinking deeply of the beauty and pleasures life offers, we don’t waste a single day.

The Practice of Appreciation means that I:

• look for the good in life and in people
• freely express gratitude and admiration
• honor my own progress
• value the gifts in my tests
• don’t allow myself to stay down and disappointed
• enjoy all that life has to offer
• feel grateful for the bounty of my life.

After a week of Discernment, our random pick has given us Decisiveness to work on this week. It is always interesting how a random pick comes up with something related to the week before. But I think that it is mostly because the virtues are all entwined and cannot be separated from each other.

After a week of thinking things through to come up with the best decisions, it is now time to put those decisions into practice. It is no good knowing what is best, if one doesn’t take the effort to put the decisions into action.

Though I haven’t been writing about things this week, I have been working on changes in our diet, looking to see what is available in my local food store and buying different ingredients to make changes in our diet. See other blog posts for more information about these changes. I will continue to look for new recipes this week and to make different things with new ingredients.

“Decisiveness is firmness of mind in taking a stand or making a decision. It requires us to be both courageous and discerning. At times, a choice appears and we must make it instantly, without hesitation, prompted by a deep knowing that it is right and timely. Decisiveness can also call us to hold a decision with patience, prayer and deep contemplation. We seek a pure intent, which guides us to a conclusion we can trust. Then one day, we reach the bedrock of truth and know it is time to act. We move forward with resolve and confidence. Being decisive, we are content with our decisions and do not second-guess ourselves. The timing of a good decision is just Divine.”

I am practicing Decisiveness when I

• have the courage to decide
• have confidence in my choices
• am not afraid to act in the moment
• take the time I need to discern the wisest path
• trust my deepest truth
• carry my decisions into action.

Discernment is not a commonly used word today and yet it implies that one thinks and reflects before making decisions and acting. Discernment implies that one makes good decisions, based on facts and not being swayed by what is in fashion.

For me, discernment is using the knowledge that I have gained over 70 years to help me decide what is right for me. For example, my husband and I are trying to alter our diet, so that the foods we choose to eat are less harmful to the environment. Today a lot of meat is raised by feeding the animals foods that we could eat ourselves. This becomes a waste of resources. By deciding to cut out meat from our diet, we are hoping to have a slightly smaller impact of the global environment.

Another decision has been to buy locally produced food where possible. Tomatoes and cucumbers are grown in greenhouses in Norway, but they are grown locally and are not transported long distances to the stores. Carrots and potatoes are also grown locally, though in late spring, the Norwegian supply may be used up and they have to be imported until the locally produced vegetables are again available. I have an egg farm close by, so I can walk up there and buy my eggs both fresh and locally.

By doing some investigation about the food that is produced in Norway, I want to work on buying less imported foods and learning to make interesting and nutritious meals with ingredients that have a lower impact on the environment. For example, I have found out that barley is grown in Norway, but that very little is eaten by humans. Barley is nutritious and good for us, so it will be given a more prominent place in our varied diet.

Discernment is accessing the wisdom of our intuition to discover what is essential and true. Detaching from our desire to rush decisions, we seek to distinguish the true from the false, the facts from our assumptions, and then choose the best path. Reflecting in silence creates space for our deepest perceptions. With contemplative vigilance, we open ourselves to clarity. We listen deeply for the true questions, trusting that the answer will unfold and reveal itself when the time is right. We become alert to the messages that come in subtle and surprising ways. We hold decisions lightly until the truth emerges. Discernment empowers us to be guided by Grace.

When I practice Discernment, I

• trust my inner vision
• seek full information
• release the pressure to decide by determination alone
• take time for reflection and prayer
• hone my intuition
• am alert to the signs placed in my path
• am open to revelation

For me, contentment is being happy with how I am and what I have already achieved. Being aware of this contentment is important for good mental health. This does not mean that one should not strive to improve either oneself or one’s living conditions.

My husband and I have created a good life for ourselves. We worked as teachers for many years in Norway, in a profession that I have always felt was useful for the society we live in. We raised two children that have become beautiful adults, who are also concerned about the welfare of people around them. We own a house and a car. We live a moderate life in our retirement, not needing a lot of new things around us, although we enjoy improving our house.

I am content with what I have accomplished in my 70 years on this planet but it is good to remember what one has achieved and be thankful that one has had a good life, with reasonably good health. I will continue to try new things and enjoy life.

“Contentment is an awareness of sufficiency, a sense that we have enough and we are enough. It is appreciating the simple gifts of life – friendship, books, a good laugh, a moment of beauty, a cool drink on a hot day. Being contented we are free from the pull of greed and longing. We trust that life provides what we need when we need it. Contentment allows us to experience satisfaction with what is. We are fully present in this moment. Being contented does not obstruct our dreams or thwart our purpose. It is a place to stand and view the future with a peaceful heart and gratitude for all that is and all that is to come.”

When I practice Contentment, I

• allow myself to be satisfied and grateful
• trust that I am enough
• enjoy where I am and what I have
• resist the craving for more
• am fully alive to the present moment
• relax in the trust that life is good.